With children becoming more vocal and involved in family activities, parent-child lines of authority seem to be blurring. A child, from a very early age, has his opinions and expects that his decisions be counted. A parent wishes to be “friendly” to his child but does not want his parental authority to be eroded. What is the right balance?
I would say; the right balance varies from family to family. Here are some broad guidelines about how one could try to reach that elusive balance:
Communicate with your child: Listen to what your child says. Let the child feel comfortable to share information and feelings with parents. A parent has to be patient and non-judgmental in doing this. This will help the child to interact freely.
Be firm in enforcing the rules: It is easy to say, “yes” but tough for the parent to say “no”. All of us fear the tears, the scornful looks, and the blaming tongue, when we refuse something our kids asked for. Remember, this is not a popularity contest, and your kids have to learn that in a family rules apply to all. Be firm, no matter how unsavory it might seem to you.
Build the trust: Encourage your child to talk about his daily routine with you. Learn who your child’s friends are at school. What does he enjoy doing? What are his favorite hobbies, and try to involve yourself in his fun activities and games. This encourages bonding between the parent and the child.
Keep the child’s safety and security in mind: Always remember that as a parent, your prime responsibility is to ensure your child’s safety. Do not let your child indulge in any activities, which endanger his security, no matter how much your child forces you.
Ensure that the rules are fair: Make sure that you are not overly strict in framing the rules for your child. Let the rules be fair and logical. This will ensure that the child would not resent the undue strictness or disciplining.
Encourage independence in your child: Let your child explore, take decisions, and do things on his own. This will allow him to develop into a holistic personality, unafraid to try new challenge. As parents, you will not be around to fight all your child’s battles. Equip him with the wisdom and the opportunities to face tomorrow’s challenges adeptly.
Discipline is important: Teach your child the importance of following rules: be it at home, in school, or outside the house. Do not let your love blind you into doing everything that he asks you to do. Remember, discipline teaches a child to evolve into a more adaptable adult.
Rules must be clear and consistent: Make sure that the child clearly understands the rules. Ensure that the rules are enforced similarly each time. This makes it easy for the child to understand them and acceptance of the enforcement then becomes easier.
Hence, it is crucial that a parent tread the fine line between being a friend and a parent carefully. It is essential and certainly desirable to be friends with our kids. However, we as parents have a larger role in teaching them the importance of discipline and following rules. Sometimes, they might get angry or throw tantrums, but if you do the enforcement correctly and consistently; they would understand the importance sooner than later.
Rachna Parmar is a Content Developer, Blogger, Article writer, and owner of her Consultancy Smart Solutions. A passionate reader; she loves working out, cooking, blogging, traveling, raising her two sons, and writing. She loves making friends and sharing notes. She provides writing solutions for all your writing needs.
My website: http://www.smartsol.in
My blog: http://www.rachnaparmar.com
