Entries Tagged 'parenting' ↓

With children becoming more vocal and involved in family activities, parent-child lines of authority seem to be blurring. A child, from a very early age, has his opinions and expects that his decisions be counted. A parent wishes to be “friendly” to his child but does not want his parental authority to be eroded. What is the right balance?

I would say; the right balance varies from family to family. Here are some broad guidelines about how one could try to reach that elusive balance:

Communicate with your child: Listen to what your child says. Let the child feel comfortable to share information and feelings with parents. A parent has to be patient and non-judgmental in doing this. This will help the child to interact freely.

Be firm in enforcing the rules: It is easy to say, “yes” but tough for the parent to say “no”. All of us fear the tears, the scornful looks, and the blaming tongue, when we refuse something our kids asked for. Remember, this is not a popularity contest, and your kids have to learn that in a family rules apply to all. Be firm, no matter how unsavory it might seem to you.

Build the trust: Encourage your child to talk about his daily routine with you. Learn who your child’s friends are at school. What does he enjoy doing? What are his favorite hobbies, and try to involve yourself in his fun activities and games. This encourages bonding between the parent and the child.

Keep the child’s safety and security in mind: Always remember that as a parent, your prime responsibility is to ensure your child’s safety. Do not let your child indulge in any activities, which endanger his security, no matter how much your child forces you.

Ensure that the rules are fair: Make sure that you are not overly strict in framing the rules for your child. Let the rules be fair and logical. This will ensure that the child would not resent the undue strictness or disciplining.

Encourage independence in your child: Let your child explore, take decisions, and do things on his own. This will allow him to develop into a holistic personality, unafraid to try new challenge. As parents, you will not be around to fight all your child’s battles. Equip him with the wisdom and the opportunities to face tomorrow’s challenges adeptly.

Discipline is important: Teach your child the importance of following rules: be it at home, in school, or outside the house. Do not let your love blind you into doing everything that he asks you to do. Remember, discipline teaches a child to evolve into a more adaptable adult.

Rules must be clear and consistent: Make sure that the child clearly understands the rules. Ensure that the rules are enforced similarly each time. This makes it easy for the child to understand them and acceptance of the enforcement then becomes easier.

Hence, it is crucial that a parent tread the fine line between being a friend and a parent carefully. It is essential and certainly desirable to be friends with our kids. However, we as parents have a larger role in teaching them the importance of discipline and following rules. Sometimes, they might get angry or throw tantrums, but if you do the enforcement correctly and consistently; they would understand the importance sooner than later.

Rachna Parmar is a Content Developer, Blogger, Article writer, and owner of her Consultancy Smart Solutions. A passionate reader; she loves working out, cooking, blogging, traveling, raising her two sons, and writing. She loves making friends and sharing notes. She provides writing solutions for all your writing needs.

My website: http://www.smartsol.in
My blog: http://www.rachnaparmar.com

Father and daughter relationship is important because you can see signs when a daughter talks about their relationship with their father and whether it is good or bad.

The guidance from a father to his daughter last a lifetime and is always a part of her when she goes out in life and chooses a mate for life.

First love

The first male the little girl love is her father, and with this charge it is important that her father have respect and integrity for her because this helps them to bond in a healthy way.

The little girl first connection to male energy and what they stand for is represented by her father, how you as a father use this to help your daughter find her place in life can be rewarding or hurtful for the rest of her life.

This first love for a little girl will determine how she will behave in later years with male energy which means, does the little girl feel it is fine for her to take her place and express how she feels with male energy or she has to deny her feelings for fear of not being received or misunderstood.

A daughter’s love and respect for her father in the early beginning is very strong and she holds to every word her father says as the truth and that her father cannot make mistakes because he knows more.

Guidance

A father may not know everything in life however he has live longer and have done many things and this is why he can help his daughter to avoid mistakes or to prepare her if it came to pass just because of his longer time on earth.

The father is there to encourage and support and to show he trust his daughter, to help her build confidence in herself and to know that she is always love.
A daughter need her father’s guidance and support to help her to know that she is not alone and it is fine to make mistakes in learning new things.

Teaching about limits

As a father helps his daughter to know his limits this in turn helps his daughter to know about hers and to maintain it.
A father is there to show his daughter how to respect her limits.

Having limits for a father and following through with it with his daughter can be easy as when he tells her to pick up her toys, it is time for bed, or it is time to eat.

Words and Action

A father is there to help his daughter follow through with her words and actions because he shows by example.

Having a one to one relationship with his daughter such as taking her to the park or library builds trust and support for his daughter in time when it is needed.

Many of these actions are done as his daughter is still small for this is where she is more receptive to learning from her father.

As his daughter gets older and their relationship becomes distant because his daughter’s need to express her independence it is a time for the father to remember what he build with his daughter at an earlier age and it is time to let go and trust.

Conclusion: Is father and daughter relationship important and the answer is a resounding yes for it helps to guide the child to have a better relationship with the outer world.

By Francis. Francis is the owner of trans-formers.com if you want more information on free relationship advice in your life you can find it at: http://www.trans-formers.com/father-and-daughter-relationship-importance.html

Let me help you take that burden off your shoulder! Yes, I do think that dads carry with them the weight of the role they think they should have in the family. I’m not blaming mothers here but I know that, sometimes, it’s easy to put all the authoritarian and disciplinary aspect of parenting on the father’s shoulder. If you’re a desperate dad, I guess you don’t know well where is your place, what is your role and you probably feel that you failed at it. What is important is to really understand what you can do to be a happy dad which means being able to show your love for your child and also making him understand and obey the rules. It’s not that difficult. Here are the advices I can give you:

1. Be vulnerable. Talk about your feelings (but don’t say you’re a desperate dad!), share your experiences when you were a child. Don’t try to be the hero. Being close to your child is way better than being an untouchable figure, as heroic as it may sound.

2. Explain punishments. Say you want the best for your child and that’s why you need him to understand what is wrong and what is right, that you do love him, no matter what. You don’t want your child to be afraid of you. Even if you make your child obey, you prefer him to do it because he understands and feels your love and not because he’s afraid of you.

3. Talk about consequences of a good and a bad behaviour. Your child will constantly test you if he doesn’t know the limits, if he sees you sometimes give in. Be firm and clear about the bad things a bad behaviour brings and the good things a good behaviour brings to your child’s life.

4. Do one-on-one activities to create that special link your child will have with you. Be patient and always express your love and encouragement to your child to build his self-esteem. That’s your role as a parent.

As a desperate dad, maybe the situation with your child really is harder than I think but applying these advices can really help you. Otherwise, you can also apply a parenting method if your child has developed bad habits and is really making his own rules. It can help you if you find it hard to be consistent and coherent in your own behaviour with your child. The link in my bio might interest you then. I do hope you’ll start hoping again and I’m sure you’ll see results soon if you act upon the problems. Being a desperate dad isn’t a fatality. You’ll soon be a happy one I’m sure!

Laura Kaine is the mother of June (10) and Jack (4). She personally helped many parents and shares her knowledge online as an expert parenting writer to help you whether you’re a single mother, a desperate dad or simply a parent wanting to improve his or her parenting. After putting an end to her daughter’s defiant behavior thanks to a parenting program, she convinced other parents to gather their experiences and review together different parenting methods that worked for them. The website they created is http://www.YourParentingHelp.com. Now they have a newsletter and give the “Guide To Better Parenting” to their visitors.

Starting a step family is exciting. Hopes and expectations run high. Once again we are a two-parent household. At last I’ll have some help raising these kids! Everyone will be happy and new loving relationships will somehow be there.
Alas, stepping into step family hood isn’t quite that simple. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment, frustration and self-doubt.

Let’s get real! A step family is not the same as a biological one. Here are seven steps toward making your stepfamily work:

1. Give relationships time to grow. Family feelings don’t happen overnight. They can take years to develop.
2. Expect to be compared with the absent parent. You will be tested and manipulated. With your spouse, decide what is best for the kids and stand by your decision unless you both decide to change it.
3. Don’t try to replace the lost parent. Instead, be an additional parent. Also, recognize that kids need to mourn their loss.
4. Don’t be an instant authority. To be an effective disciplinarian you will need support from natural parents on child rearing issues. This will take some time.
5. Make room for confusion. New roles and relationships may be accompanied by high anxiety, competition for attention and loyalty conflicts. Kids may suspect that they are being replaced in your affections by the new spouse. They need to understand that you love and need them and your new spouse, only in different ways.
6. Respect generational boundaries. The potential for inappropriate and harmful sexual relationships is higher in step families because of the lack of biological ties and shared history.
7. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Get counseling or join a step family organization before problems get out of hand.

Hugh R. Leavell, Ph.D. is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in northern Palm Beach County, FL. Check his website at http://DrHughLeavell